My computer is fucking shit and not even Auslogics' amazing products help. It's slow as fuck and takes forever to boot up. Just out of the blue programs will stop responding and shit, it;'s just a mess. Now I need to use my grandmother's computer. I swear if those guys don't fix my computer, I just may get a Mac...

What the fuck am I saying? That would be twenty steps back, maybe I'll get that Linux thing 53411 or whatever his name is told me about 9,000 years ago.