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Chdonga
I love videogames especially old school games. I've played almost every classic and I love making parody's of it in sprite animations. If you do not like Sprite animations please go watch actual drawings on another place or at least give it a chance.

Ted duMairrd @Chdonga

Age 30, whatever pronounds idgf

Pixel Artist

Poughquag, NY

Joined on 3/24/08

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Chdonga's News

Posted by Chdonga - July 15th, 2010


Land slugs are slimy mollusk-brained cabbage eaters. But you are nothing. You are the human equivalent of a broken lava-lamp. Repulsive, doesn't work, 30 years behind the times, and full of oily slime. Your breathtaking arrogance is only matched by your uncanny ability to be utterly clueless as to what other people think about you. And make no mistake, they think about you. Constantly. Your actions are as opportunistic and as repulsive as maggots. Your disgusting loathsome habits clearly know no bounds. Your mere existence has for me offered proof there is no God, no hope, no justice and the most miserable future for humankind. I have seen you walking along a footpath, one of your horribly fascinating activities. You count the cement squares don't you. You even on occasion try and avoid standing on the cracks. How can someone so stupid still remember to breathe? Or are you an automaton sent by an evil foreign, or alien, power, to destroy civilization as we know it? All this, perhaps, would not be so damningly despairing were it not for the fact that I know what you do after you have picked your nose. Perhaps the less said the better, as other people, who still might have hope, could someday read this inadvertently. You snot-sniveled slimy sluptitious stool. Do you not have any reckoning of the ugliness you have wrought on the world? I have seen more convivial things than you wrapped up in newspaper in overfull bins at the fish markets. I have tried, but clearly, I have failed. I must stand firm to the realization that mere words cannot express my utmost and profound contempt and loathing for your person, your being and your existence. You are a blight against nature.

This is something that I have grown to despise quite malevolently. Your bigoted words, and your damnable actions make me sick to my stomach. I find it comedic that you are spouting this crap here, and I find it sickening that younger children might see this... There is a good saying that I am thinking of, "If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say anything at all!" Otherwise, I rather felt like that I needed to put in my two cents here. Oh, and I find it funny that you comeback with very crappy insults.

You, sir, are a stupid dumbshit who doesn't deserve a dick. Unless you are a girl, then you don't deserve your pussy. Please go replace your pancreas with a bowling ball and skydive into into man-eating animal infested waters wherein you survive without a dick, without a sphincter, without an ear, or even your nutsack. Or better yet, thread a needle with a string, then dip it in saltwater and jam it through your testicles, then put the same exact string in both of your eyeballs where it will mold and cause you to go blind. So then you will need a seeing eye dog named Butch who will chew on your infected nutsack every day for the rest of your life. When you get him to lick the peanut butter off, he'll somehow manage to choke on your tiny little shaft. Then he will die, causing you to cry out of your blind eyes and you will be left helpless crying for your dead nut guzzling dog in the street while you are mowed down by a guy in a powder blue Prius and live in pain for exactly 666 minutes before you die, finally exiling you to hell. Then (that's right, i am NOT done) Satan's minions will chew out your kidneys and stuff them in your ass that doesn't have a sphincter. Then when you talk you will sound like Al Quaeda and be pelted with rocks everywhere you go until you are hated enough to be let into the tenth chamber of hell, where your immortal soul will burn for tens of hundreds of thousands of centuries without any shit breaks.

Eventually you will fucking explode, and your guts will fly everywhere and your wife (who is not missing you at all cause she's fucking your cousin Steve) gets hit with your gay ass bowling ball pancreas and she dies and also goes to Hell to be raped by lava demons, where she'll get her cunt burned off for eternity, but your soul goes to Super Hell where they convert you to a cat fucking atheist with no liver and then they will torture you with your dead dog butch's soul and he will chew the remaining pieces of your infected nutsack off until he is forced to chew off your entire dick and shove it down your throat. You'll choke, die, and got to Extreme Hell and have your dick replaced with Hitler's dick and then they send you back up to Earth where you find a sign sticking out of your head that says 'I have Hitler's nuts!' And then when Jews read it they will get their dogs to chew out your new balls and rip off your face and then you die and go to Butch Hell and 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 Butch clones chew your balls for the rest of the fucking eternity!

Eventually one of the clones will eat your last bit of nutsack off and you will be crying from so much pain that they kick you out of Butch hell and send you back to Earth where you are forced live in an apartment with over 9,000 gay people in New Jersey until Richard Simmons breaks in your house through your toilet and forces you to do hours and hours of dancing to the oldies. And just when you think it's all over, Carrot Top comes over to do some prop comedy for you. Then, after breaking your leg, a giant koala bear breaks in through your window and chews the other off. Then you, laying there, legless Pedobear breaks in through your shower and pokes a hole in your cheek which he sticks his dick in until there's a huge meteor shower which rips through your body, and leaves you alive to feel nothing but pain and suffering. All other human beings are dead but yourself, and you can't move. Your only food comes from the occasional cockroach that climbs in through a hole in your cheek (that Pedobear made from poking you so much) and walks down close enough to your throat so you can swallow and the cum you got from Pedobear raping you. Then 30 years later, bunch of ass robot-pirate-bears come for you and start poking even more holes in your body until you bleed to death and go back to Butch hell where you belong.

Then when the Butch clones want nothing to do with you (because one of them ate your testicles off) please skin yourself with a rusty pizza cutter then pour chew tobacco and alcohol all over yourself, shove a rake up your butt and make yourself an anus just to pull it back out and tie it around a stalagmite in which you hang yourself on, then hollow out the inside of your dick and wrap the outer skin around your lips the piss and cum stream going into your mouth, stick needles in your eyeballs and shit up your nose then stick a dagger into both your eardrums and scalp yourself, put a nail on your skull then hit it with a hammer multiple times then tear your jaw off its hinge and nail it to your chin, stretch your uvula out of your mouth then wrap it around your face, cut your face down to the bone and snap both your elbows and knees rib your feet and hand off and stab all the bone ends into your lungs, then cut open your stomach and expose all your organs, grabbing your intestine and making it into a noose, then rub honey all over yourself and watch as hellbugs and hellcrabs and small hellcreatures crawl all over you and start to eat you alive for days as you lay in your own stinking pile of shit piss and sperm going into your mouth as hellrats and hellbugs and hellwasps nest living inside your organs and then splash stomach acid all over your face and chew on your own muscles and organs and tongue to prevent starvation and hellanimals crawl through your neck you choke on a hellporcupine and get spikes sticking through your jugulars and throat, then disconnect all your veins and arteries and stick the ends in your nose as blood comes shooting up your nose and filling your skull and shooting out through the small holes in your eyes caused by the needles then after months drown in your own shit.

Eventually you'll wake up still with the shit on your face, surprised to see that you have all your body parts and get raped by Michael Jackson who died from looking at your face. then he cums on your bowling ball pancreas until EVERY Butch clone comes and chews his nuts off and then the Butch clones cum on your pancreas and your face explodes. You come back as a 13 year old sexy Jewish girl in 1945, where you are in a concentration camp and you get gang raped by 666 Nazis and even Hitler himself gets so turned on by your sexiness that he ties you to the ground and smacks your face with his dick, trying to force you to give him a blowjob until he crushes your head and your brains come out and it dries to the ground so you are stuck there being cock slapped by Hitler, Michael Jackson, and your cousin Steve (who turned out to be weaselfan) until he dies and leaves you there until you die and go to hell, Satan rapes your family who is also dead. Then you try to save them and get hit by a warthog and Master Chief rapes you 7 times until his shield goes down and then he gets killed by the Arbiter who also rapes you until you have six new shit holes. You'll then lose all your precious body fluids through your new shit holes and you fucking evaporate.

You wake up in your room, still a sexy Jewish chick, but now you're lesbian and you have a penis and you got Hitler's nuts back. You don't want to be a shemale so you go in your garage and force your dick into a toaster but you just crush and toast your nuts, you are too much of a pussy to finish the job. Your junk now dangle by a small piece of skin which you tear off to use to choke your mom who accidentally eats them and dies and you fuck her corpse until her rotten cunt infuses with your small pecker and you're stuck fucking her until you die and go to Incest is Best Hell still fucking your mom to be raped in the ass by Satan himself who will eventually get his dick infused with your butthole so you'll be walking around with your mom and Satan fucking you until their members rot off. You pump your mom's corpse's stomach and get your nuts and glue them back on and after escaping the seven layers of hell where you were forced to stick your head up a million goatses, you finally make it back to Earth where you wind up somewhere in Nevada and you accidentally digest a cactus from your rectum and then when you ask an albino for directions to the nearest hospital, he ends up being Pedobear in disguise who rapes you in your ass that is filled with cactus quills and he impales his dick and it gets stuck in there. He tries to squirm it out but it gets ripped off and he dies and goes to some dimension inhabited by horny naked girls. Lucky him. A few weeks later you befriend a black furry, emo, stoner chick and one day you get really high and fuck her.

She leans over and notices your testicles are crushed and toasted and she leaves you and becomes satanic so she can go to hell and have a several way with your old girlfriend, some lava demons and now a gigantic foot. You get depressed and cut your dick off and bleed to death where you go to hell to see the hot sex both of your girlfriends are (no longer) forced to have with lava demons and the foot. This causes them pleasure but you can't get a boner or whack off because you cut off your dick, dumbass. While you are watching the three get it on in a semen covered gory, footy, orgasm, Hitler comes over, stares deeply at you then whispers in your ear "I want my nuts back" and he grabs your... I mean Hitler's nuts and pulls them until he accidentally pops one of them and his hand gets covered in his own sperm which turns him gay and he starts fucking you in the asshole but his shaft gets stuck in your butthole with Pedobear's dick and you take a very hard shit and you shit out both of their dicks fall out and you have watch Hitler eat the shitty, dicky concoction (see what I did there?) and puke them back up until your dick grows back. When it finally does, you develop a lava demon on black emo on feet on your first girlfriend fetish and you get the bad urge to jump in but you can't because you're in hell and all you can do is watch. You can't even whack off to it either or your dick would fall off and you'd have to watch Hitler eat it and puke it until it grows back.


Posted by Chdonga - July 15th, 2010


Brb, gonna go watch sprite flashes.


Posted by Chdonga - July 13th, 2010


Greenic threw a rock through Neo's window and climbed back in his house. Neo was sitting on his hand shaped chair he got from some store in Seattle, playing his PSP. Greenic's boots were lying on the thumb.

Greenic: Give me my fucking boots.

Greenic snatched them off the chair and put them back on angrily, but she quickly jumped out of them when she felt Neo's cold semen in them.

Greenic: Neo, that's just disgusting. Even for you.

Neo watched Greenic as she walked out of his house with her boots over her arm.

Neo decided that he'd prepare now at that moment so he could save as much time to get to the guild as possible. He packed a small bag with only some small rations, a hunting knife, the map to the Anti-Tekina Warriors guild, and a box of matches. He was now ready to go find the guild.

Before heading off, Neo called Greenic to apologize for what he did last night.

Neo: Hey Greenic it's me Neo. I'm just calling to say I'm sorry for jacking off in your shoes. That was pretty disgusting, even for me. Well... I'm going to the guild now. I left a key in my mailbox if you need something from my house or... whatever... um... I love you... bye.

Neo placed his key in his mailbox and walked into the distance reading his map. Now begins day 1 of his adventure.

Neo unfolded his map and a small note fell out of it.

"You should find our guild in the middle of the TongYong forest. It's not hard to miss. But don't think your trip is a short, easy one, you will face many dangers, like the giant land shark and that's probably it lol. Maybe there's like some evil siren or something. Probably not though. Well see you at the guild. Provided you survive."

Neo crumpled up the note and followed the map.

Before making it out of town he remembered that he didn't bring any clothes with him. He ran quickly back to his house, he forgot what he did with his key so he couldn't get in his house.

Neo: Maybe Sonic has some clothes he can spare.

Neo ran to Sonic's house. Lucky for him Sonic was there.

Neo: Yo Sonic, can I borrow some money? Like fifty dollars? I'm going on a trip and I need some extra clothes.

Sonic: Neo, aren't you Jewish?

Neo: What? Yeah, but what does that have to do--

Sonic: Ya know, I just might have some extra cash if you're willing to do me a favor.

Neo: I'm not sucking your dick again.

Sonic: No no. I want you to compliment Jesus for me.

Neo: What? Why?

Sonic: Do you want fifty dollars or not?

Neo: Ugh fine. Um I don't know, Jesus has nice hair and a well shaven beard. Now give me the fucking money.

Sonic: We all know his facial hair is unmatched. Say something about his chest. Is his chest well oiled?

Neo: Sure, why not? Now give me the--

Sonic: No, I need you to say it.

Neo: For fuck's sake Sonic. Here, I'll say it. Jesus Christ has a well oiled chest. There, ya happy.

Sonic: Yup.

Sonic slams the door in front of Neo's face and locks it.

Neo: Sonic you dick. Ugh, hope the guys at the guild have clothes for me.

The town bell let out twelve loud chimes.

Neo: Dammit, it's noon and I haven't even gotten out of the city. I better pick up the pace.

Neo walked and walked for six hours, he stopped to eat by a quiet stream, where he saw a beautiful young lady, no older than him, bathing in the stream. He tried to ignore her and continue to eat, but the girl turned around, revealing her perfectly shaped breasts. Neo caught a glimpse and couldn't avert his eyes. The girl saw Neo and stared back at him. When she realized Neo was staring at her breasts, she covered herself with her left hand and threw a rock at him. The rock hit him in the head and knocked him out cold.

He awoke in the middle of the night, still by the stream, to see the beautiful girl he saw earlier.

Neo: Hey you're that girl in the stream. You threw a rock at me you bitch.

The girl smacked him.

Girl: Talk about uncalled for. You were watching me bathe you pervert.

Neo sees the moon is up.

Neo: Shit, how long have I been out?

Girl: Like four hours.

Neo: Great. And now I've got two days left.

Girl: Two days? For what?

Neo: Some guy told me I had to find this crazy place in three days if I wanted to join his group.

Girl: Wait, are they trying to fight a wizard or something?

Neo: Yeah, how'd you know?

Girl: I'm looking for it too.

Neo: Really? Maybe we can go find it... together?

The girl laughed at him.

Girl: You can spend the night here, but we're parting when I wake up.

Neo: What do you mean here? We're in the middle of a forest, we could get eaten by a bear.

Girl: Good night.

The girl picked up another rock from the stream and threw it at Neo, knocking him out again.

And thus ends day 1 of Neo's journey.


Posted by Chdonga - July 8th, 2010


Mysterious Man: I am Generiese. Generiese N Vertraagde. I am the leader of a group of the most powerful people, our mission is to stop an evil wizard.

Neo: An evil wizard? Let me guess, his name is Sephiroth and he wants to plunge the planet into a cloud of darkness.

Generiese: What? No, his name is Tekina, the dark wizard. Tekina plans to summon a demon that could destroy all of Mobius.

Neo: Why?

Generiese: Well... I don't fucking know, he's a villain, he probably wants to do it because he's batshit insane.

Greenic: Well if you're looking for powerful people why do you want Neo? He's not even strong in the sexing area.

Generiese: Well if you're such a bitch why are you such a shut the fuck up! I want Neo to join my group and that's final.

Generiese lifts up a sword from nowhere and points it at Greenic. The sword is like 8 feet long or something. It's just fucking big.

Greenic: Wow, why is that sword bigger than you?

Generiese: Shut up, the doctors say lots of men my age have penises this size.

Neo: I know, but Greenic says she's had men four times my size. I think those men just had on a fake dick.

Generiese: That's what I told my sixth wife. Heh, I like you Neo. You'll be a great member of our team. Well, pack your things and get ready.

Neo: Heyheyheyheyheyhey hey hey hey hey hey. Hey... Hey...

Generiese: Um...

Neo: I am not fucking done! Now. Where was I? Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey...

Neo shouting 'hey' goes on for several minutes.

Neo: Okay I'm done. I never agreed to joining your group. I don't even know what your name is?

Generiese: Generiese.

Greenic: No, you retard, he meant the name of that tiny penis club you were talking about.

Generiese: It's not a club you horse's ass. It's a group. And we're called... ah... we're the anti-Tekina Warriors. That's a cool name, isn't it?

Neo: Well it's better than 'The Organization' or 'Vault-Tec Industries'. What are you doing again?

Generiese: We're going to stop an evil wizard from summoning a demon.

Neo: Hm. Meh, why not? I'll join.

Generiese: Great! Here's a map to our quarters. You must get there by three days from now. It will test your abilities.

Greenic: Wait, if Neo is so powerful why do you need to test his abilities?

Neo: Greenic, stop asking so many questions.

Generiese: Your name is Greenic? You're not even green. You're purple.

Greenic: Hey, shut up. My parents were colorblind.

Neo: Your uncle fucked a cat, your parents are colorblind, you have a strange family.

Greenic attempts to kick Neo in the nuts, but just brushes her foot against his crotch.

Neo: Hey Greenic I think a footjob counts as sex.

Greenic blushes.

Generiese: Okay you two can fondle each other for the rest of the night but by sunrise, you should head to the quarters.

Neo: Nah, I got a car, I'll just--

Suddenly Princess Clara from Drawn Together comes out of nowhere and shoves Neo's entire car into her gaping vagina. And then the storm subsided.

Neo: So... sunrise. I'll be there before the time runs out.

Generiese: Good. You can continue sex.

Neo and Greenic stare at Generiese who is staring at them, waiting for them to have sex.

Greenic: Get out.

Greenic slams the door on him.

Neo: You don't need to go to the mammogram, do you?

Greenic: Yes I do.

Neo: Get out.

Neo kicks Greenic out of his house and locks the door. Greenic shouts through the door asking for her boots. Neo doesn't hear her because he's too busy smelling her boots while masturbating.

So Neo has decided to join the Anti-Tekina Warriors and must go to their headquarters. Will he make it in three days? Find out in the next episode of Neo the Hedgehog.


Posted by Chdonga - July 5th, 2010


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Posted by Chdonga - July 3rd, 2010


You're so fat.

Oh Gabe


Posted by Chdonga - July 3rd, 2010


Why are you gay?


Posted by Chdonga - June 30th, 2010


Will come out when I think of a decent story.


Posted by Chdonga - June 29th, 2010


But none of you faggots know what the fuck I'm talking about because the only anime you watch is Naruto and Bleach.

Shit, you probably don't know which Naruto character is a rip off of this guy.

Ebisumaru is secretly gay for Goemon.


Posted by Chdonga - June 25th, 2010


Fanboys updated.